Long Time, No See!

Twenty months is a long time for a hiatus.

Sometimes… well, all the time… life happens. When life happens, some things don’t happen. When life happens, unexpected things happen. When life happens, too many things happen all at once, and overwhelm sets in for a visit.

It’s not like I haven’t done anything, I just haven’t done this thing called a blog post. So let’s catch up.

Since the last time we spoke via screen and keyboard, a lot of my life has changed.

• We have gained three grandchildren!
• We went to Europe for the first time, visiting Greece and Italy.
• I started my own YouTube channel! Ephemeraphiles By Tomi
• We are now foster parents!

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A lot about life in general for most people has changed as well. My soapbox will be coming out often, my encouragement to to be kind and loving to one another will be called out from mountaintops again, and my love of life and joy and people and everything beautiful will still be evident in all I do.

I have missed writing. I have so much to share, so be forewarned!

Remember, you are loved.

Remember, you have a purpose.

And remember…

Be kind. Always.

What A Waste!

I sank into the swamp of self-loathing, self-pity, and straight simple self-hatred. I struggled with what I have done, what I haven’t done, and what I likely will never accomplish. I looked at myself in the mirror and said to my reflection, “What a waste.”

You know what? I was right.

Now, I know I am not a waste, although let’s face it, at some point in each of our lives each of us may likely feel that way. However, that wrong thought may cause us to think deeply about some of the things we are doing. My thoughts stayed on the track of “What a waste,” but not directed at myself.

My “What a waste” insight directed me to some of my wasteful habits, and some more responsible efforts.

Wasting resources

• Re-running bathwater

How many times have I run my bath full of hot water, and walked away for just a few minutes, only to forget about it and return a few hours later to a cold tub?

• Re-washing laundry

I am sure I am not the only one who has ever had to put a load of laundry back in the washer because it sat for two days and soured. Just because many people do it doesn’t make it okay.

• Cooking too much food

This one is a learned habit rather than a forgetfulness habit. I have six children, and have spent a major portion of my adult life cooking for a veritable army of mouths and stomachs. I need to relearn to cook for only two, something I have never really needed to do until just recently. Unfortunately, this waste leads to the next waste…

• Not using leftovers

Since my husband and I do not require that I cook for multitudes, we do not need leftovers for multitudes. And the food goes bad and and into the trash.

• Purchasing non-necessary duplicates

Oh my goodness! I have purchased a plethora of paper plates because I either couldn’t find them or didn’t know I had any due to disorganization. I have recently had three entire gallons of milk at once (mind you, two of us live here and one of us doesn’t drink milk) because I didn’t know there was a gallon in the kitchen fridge and a gallon in the garage fridge. Wow. This doesn’t even touch the craft supplies – the nonconsumable craft supplies, like paper punches and stamps – that have made their way into my cart because I didn’t know I already had the.exact.same.thing.at.home!

Wasting time and energy

I have frequently looked back over my day and thought, “Where did the time go? Just what did I accomplish today? Anything? Anything at all?” Granted, in recent time, I have had to answer myself, “I am sick. I am exhausted. I have a reason.” that is not always the case, though. I still have to be accountable for what I can get done on the days that I am not required to get bedrest. Most days, I can still do something.

Wasting space

My house is fairly large, and as I mentioned earlier, it is mainly my husband and me at home. I have more than enough space to take care of our needs comfortably, and can still help out other people in need, host meetings and get-together, and have space for our twelve grandchildren to play. Why does it feel so crowded then?

Because I have too much stuff and I have too little organization.

Wasting worry/emotions

Sometimes the biggest issue out of all these is that I let my emotions and worries take control and I am sent on a wild careening ride for which I did not intend to buy a ticket! I am stuck in a time suck, or I am captive in my bed because of stress-induced illness, or I am self-medicating with shopping, or I lash out at loved ones.

There are solutions. I promise there are solutions. Since we have spent some time and heart identifying the problems, I will address actual, doable, feasible solutions for each of these wastes of time. Stick with me for the next post.

Gladness Goals

On a scale of miserable to ecstatic, how glad are you at this moment?

Miserable ——- Sad ——- Meh ——- Okay ——- Cheerful ——- Happy ——- Ecstatic!

Do you realize that your happiness is entirely under your control?

You can experience gladness of heart if you want. Here are seven simple ways to build gladness into your life.

1. Hugs

Hugs make you feel more psychologically secure.

-Leo Buscaglia

I wasn’t always a hugger. I come from a family of non-huggers. Hugging felt intrusive and sometimes intimidating.

Then I moved about 65 miles north, away from my hometown of 31 years. It was a surprisingly huge culture shock. Part of that shock was that almost everyone I met was a hugger.

And I didn’t hate it. In fact, I drank it up like I had found a well of cold water in the desert. It was, and is, one of the most wonderful changes in my life.

The science behind hugging is proof that a hug can change your day, or even your life. So go hug someone. Now.

2. Laugh with someone at least daily.

Laugh, not at someone, but with someone. Comedians can be funny (not always) and a child’s antics may be amusing, but sharing the intimacy of a moment of community with a laugh is healthy for both mind and body.

3. Compliment at least three people daily.

An honest compliment can make anyone’s day, and it will make yours as well. When you train yourself to look for an comment on a positive attribute or action of another, you tend to have a more positive outlook yourself.

4. Help someone at least three times a week.

You help someone so much more when you offer a hand-up instead of a hand-out. Science and society have shown over and over again the benefits of helping others, for the giver as well as the receiver.

What can I do with what I have to help others?

5. Keep a gratitude journal.

It is commonplace for many of us, myself included, to take for granted that our everyday needs and wants are amply supplied.

~ I have a roof over my head, floors under my feet, and heat, A/C, electricity, running hot and cold water, and an abundance of appliances.

~ I have a closet full of nice, comfortable clothes and shoes, a dresser full of clothes, and even a spare closet of special occasion clothes. I have a washer and dryer to clean all of these clothes. I even have an assortment of extra clothes for my grandchildren in their playroom.

~ I have family and friends that I love and that love me.

~ I have the freedom and the ability to worship and practice my faith in a multitude of ways. I am allowed to use my abilities to lead and teach and bless others.

~ I can read and write and sing and walk and so many other blessings.

~ I have all of these things and so many more that I can (although I shouldn’t) forget to be grateful.

I have been without many of these needs and wants at various times in my life, so you would think I wouldn’t forget… but I do. Perhaps listing three things each day that I am thankful to have experienced or I have been blessed with would help all of us to appreciate the really good lives we have.

6. Say “Thank you” and mean it.

How many times have you said those two words in the past week and it wasn’t just a mindless phrase repeated because it was expected? How about yesterday? How about this morning?

Words become just that, words, when we aren’t truly experiencing the meaning behind them. Now, I don’t suggest that you stop saying thank you unless you have the time to meditate over the action for which you would typically say thank you. This actually refers back to being grateful.

Do this. Try writing a thank you note to someone, anyone, for something they did that truly made you feel gratitude. Do it again.

Do this. Try giving an authentic smile when the words “Thank you” come out of your mouth.

Do this. Say “Thank you” and genuinely mean it.

7. Be kind to yourself.

Give yourself grace. You are not perfect. No one is. So why beat yourself up over mistakes and missteps? Learn from it and live your life. No one else can do this for you.

Give yourself goodies. Take a long, hot bath. Go for a walk. Start a list of aspects that you like about yourself. No one else needs to see this list, so start liking yourself!

Give yourself great memories. Hang out with friends if that is your thing, and take photos. Write down what you want to remember and make an album that will make you happy. Hang out with yourself if that is your thing. Write in a diary or journal, or make art, or listen to your favorite music.

And finally,

Bujo Bandwagon

This page makes me angry.

A few months ago, I decided (again) that I need to make wiser use of my time (again) and I need to be more productive (again), especially with my obligations (again).

The magic answer seemed to be…

BULLET JOURNALING!

Did I realize at the time that a bujo (shorthand for bullet journal) was such a trend? No.

Did I realize that, due to my artsy-fartsyness – yes, that is a word, at least to me – and my perfectionism, it would take two+ months to put together in a manner satisfactory to me? No.

Did I realize that keeping a bujo would have such a huge impact on my daily life. No!

However…

…as I fill out my bujo night after night, this particular page seems to smack me in the face with its empty blankness.

What a slacker.

However…

…the bujo has done its job. Here I am, tapping away on my keyboard, determined to say to that blank page, “Take that! See, I can do this!!!”

Wait a minute. I CAN do this!

Is it possible to be grateful for a blank piece of paper? Why yes, yes it is.

Thank you, my beautiful bujo. Let’s do this again soon.

Finding Joy

Last year, a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her name is Pam. You need to know this part for the rest of the story.

I was in Dollar Tree and I saw these little faux stones with different encouraging words engraved on them: mercy, faith, truth… Now, my favorite word is “JOY”. Not everyone has a favorite word, but I definitely do!

I was searching for a stone with the word Joy on it and I must admit to getting a little frustrated. Then I found a stone with the word Courage, the only one in the box with that word. In my head, I heard, “Get that for Pam.”

So I did. As I was walking into church that Sunday morning, who else was walking in at the exact same time? Of course, it was Pam! As I gave her the stone and told her the story, she looked straight into my eyes and said, “You know my middle name is Joy, right?” Um, no I didn’t.

God helped me find Joy without a doubt.

Friday ReFresh

If you do NOT ever need a time to refresh, raise your hand.

Yeah, I didn’t think so.  My hand wasn’t up either.                  Every one of us needs and even requires a small self-care space in time. Even God rested from His work.  Your body and your mind will start to suffer without a respite. So, once in a while, give yourself a break and just take a break!

I tend to make Friday my break day.  I know, I know, I don’t have a full-time job or little ones at home. Does that mean I need any less of a refresh?  No! It is a perfect example of the fact that the most busy and least busy of us still crave more than a coffee break and desire some downtime.

For me, time in the tub is important. Granted, I take a bath instead of a shower pretty much every morning. The shower is exhausting!  My daily bath is not a relaxing, dreamy delight; rather, it is get in, get done, and get out. On a Friday ReFresh (which, by the way, doesn’t happen every week), I love to lounge as long as I like. I also include other pampering procedures when possible.

• Facial mask/scrub
• Soaking bath bombs, bath salts, or bubble bath
• Dry brushing with a body brush
• Deep condition hair (or recolor hair if needed)
• Deep conditioning lotion for hands and feet on non-mani/pedi weeks)
• Tooth whitening or oil pulling
• Clean jewelry (this may not seem like it fits, but I feel sooooo much nicer when my wedding ring is sparkling!)

Occasionally, I get to add a therapeutic massage to this list. My friend Alison at Revitalize Massage Therapy is wonderful!  She is knowledgeable about tender spots and trigger points with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid syndrome, and genuinely cares about her clients. If you are in Central Indiana, I highly recommend that you look her up.

~~~ HINT HINT HINT ~~~

Christmas is coming!  A beautiful basket with some or all of these items, along with some handmade soap, a loofah, some fluffy socks, and a gift certificate for a massage or mani/pedi (or both!) would make a gorgeous gift!

Challenge Challenge

November and January are major months for challenges, especially those challenges that involve social media.  Thankfulness post challenges, weight loss or activity challenges, and lifestyle change challenges seem to be the most popular.

I recently took part in a thirty day photo challenge, each day a different prompt.  It was creative fun and forced me to think outside of my normal lines of thought.

I would highly encourage you to take part in a challenge, especially a challenge that has daily objectives for a period of time instead of just a one-shot deal. If you need inspiration, check this out!

Stay creative, my friends ✔️

Declaration and Disclaimer

So many, many, many, MANY professional bloggers insist that any good blog must have a disclaimer.  In this litigious society, it does seem necessary.

*The coffee in this cup is hot.

*Do not use handheld hairdryer while showering.

*For external use only.  Do not ingest dish soap. (Hmmm, someone should have told me that when I was younger…)

So now for the not-so-fun stuff.

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Disclaimer

Everything Beautiful E311 is a personal blog. In this blog you will read about my personal opinions, experiences, likes, dislikes, faith, family, and ideas.  Since I am only a human, I cannot guarantee that you will have the same or better or worse results from information or ideas I share. I will write about what worked or did not work for me. If you undertake any projects, it is at your own discretion and liability.  I am not a professional, therefore you should consider your own abilities and needs, and get professional advice if needed.

I am not reimbursed or paid by any sponsors or companies whose products or services I review or recommend unless otherwise noted.  I share my real experiences with real reviews about what works and does not work for me.

I am the legal copyright holder of material shared on this blog unless otherwise noted.  Please do not reprint or distribute without my written permission or consent.  Anything shared on social media must include the website. I reserve the right to change the format or focus of this site at any time.

Your email address or personal information will not be shared with anyone.  I am not responsible for the privacy policies of any advertisers or commenters on this site.

That was the disclaim portion.

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Declaration!!!

I am a Christian.

Although I do not write about my faith in every post, I pray that the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the love of God the Father, and the life-giving salvation of Jesus Christ the Son are present in every word, phrase, sentence, and paragraph.

I will not force my faith on anyone, since I believe that pushing someone to Christianity only results in pushing them away.  I simply promise to do my best to talk the talk and walk the walk in everything I say and do.

 

 

High Altitude Attitude Adjustment

 

Leaving Las Vegas.

What a whirlwind of a weekend that began wonderfully and ended woefully.

My husband and I planned this trip weeks ago, a getaway for just the two of us.  We are housing an intern turned youth minister on our church staff for the past fourteen months, and now we are also helping our oldest son and daughter-in-love with a fresh start on the right foot.  Our once empty nest has been full!  We went on a few vacations in the past few years, but always with people, whether family or friends. Those trips were still fun. They were still memorable. We simply needed some time to simply be with each other.  It was a happy vacation…until Sunday night.

We flew out on Monday morning after the Sunday evening massacre. On the flight home, an older gentleman sat in the seat behind me. He was chatty, and liked to accentuate each word or phrase with a hearty thwack on the back of my seat. This went on for some time, jolting me with each and every whack. When the beverage service came, I asked the flight attendant if she could ask the passenger to quit hitting my seat. She requested a few minutes to figure out how to address the issue without causing an issue, and moved on down the aisle.

And then I had a few more minutes to think about “the issue.”  Did I want to potentially cause an issue?  Was it really that much of a problem?  Was Thumper’s thumping bothering me so badly that embarrassment was necessary?

That is when God used the flight attendant to thump me.

When the attendant returned, I let her know that I was not going to bother with telling him to stop. She asked if I was sure and I let her know I was sure. She replied, “Just let me know if it becomes unbearable and I will take care of it.”

…if it becomes unbearable…

THUMP

Over fifty people lost their lives the night before.

…if it becomes unbearable…

THUMP

Over five hundred people were physically injured the night before.

…if it becomes unbearable…

THUMP

Over six hundred families, friends, and loved ones’ lives were immediately and irreparably changed the night before.

…if it becomes unbearable…

I am certain that any one of them would give anything to put up with a thumper sitting behind them on an airplane instead of going through what they are going through.

THUMP

God, forgive me when I don’t do all things without grumbling or complaining (Philippians 2:14). Forgive me when I don’t love you by loving others (Matthew 22:37-39). Forgive me when my love doesn’t bear all things (1Corinthians 13:7). Forgive me when I fail (1 Corinthians 13:8).

God, comfort all of those affected by the massacre in Las Vegas.

50 Simple Ways to Make Life Better

1. Read this entire list!
2. Say please.
3. Say thank you.
4. Say excuse me.
5. Accept a breath mint.
6. Brush your teeth.
7. Make your bed.
8. Smile!
9. Give a hug (or two or three).
10. Give a genuine compliment (or two or three).
11. Attend a free community concert.
12. Send a card or write a letter of appreciation.
13. Memorize a meaningful quote or poem.
14. Keep your car interior clean.
15. Hold a baby.

16. Spend time star-gazing.
17. Give a gift hand-made by you.
18. Be grateful.
19. Go for a walk.
20. Learn how to laugh with others and at yourself.
21. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
22. Allow others to make mistakes.
23. Pick up trash.
24. Listen to a friend’s favorite music.
25. Invite a guest for dinner.
26. Learn something new about your town.
27. Visit a museum.
28. Plant flower seeds.

29. Play a game with a child.
30. Sing a song.
31. Encourage someone.
32. Hold a door open for someone.
33. Let someone hold a door open for you.
34. Let someone else go first.
35. Let someone tell you their story.
36. Sit quietly and be still for 5, 10, 15 minutes.
37. Try something – anything! – new to you.
38. Give something away.
39. If you love someone, tell him or her.
40. Let an elder teach you something.
41. Let a teen teach you something.
42. Accept assistance.
43. Learn a few words in another language.
44. Put some change in a cup.
45. Go somewhere you’ve never been.
46. Visit with a friend.
47. Say yes to an invitation.
48. Stop saying “I don’t care.”
49. Recycle something.
50. Leave a happy note on a car windshield.
*Bonus
51. Occasionally fast from social media.
52. Share this post.
53. Make your own positive list.